26 Week Update!

It's been about 2 months since Amelia passed and I've wanted to blog before now but would just sit and stare at the blank screen and then eventually turn it off. The first week was the hardest…going from the mindset of having twins to one, losing our baby girl, feeling kicks from Jackson and knowing that I'll never feel Amelia's kicks. It was very difficult for me, but I think it was equally if not more difficult for Adam…Amelia was the little girl Adam wanted! He wanted a daddy's girl and his little girl was taken away. I was able to cry and get my emotions out while he held his in. I felt so sorry for him…he had to leave work early the first day back because it was just too hard for him…everybody talking about it. Then I felt like it was unfair to Jackson that we were so upset about our baby girl…he's our sweet baby too. The first week was really…strange.

I decided that I needed to get Adam something tangible to hold on to…I felt like it would make things easier for him. I had Jackson…a constant reminder that we still have a beautiful, sweet baby to look forward to. I also had a necklace my Mother-in-law had given me for mother's day that had 2 pair of baby feet, one pink and one blue. I wore it often and it was a comfort to me. So I went to Things Remembered and looked for something I could get Adam. I came across this dog tag necklace that had an angel wing and circular metal piece. I thought it was perfect and I got Amelia's name inscribed on one side and Jackson's name on the other. On the circular metal piece I got 2 hearts intertwined because they are twins. I was so excited to give it to Adam that night! He absolutely loved it and put it on right away…I don't think he's taken it off since and he has a green ring around his neck because of it. I keep telling him to take if off when he gets a shower but he doesn't want to. I've caught him a couple times sitting on the couch watching tv with her name up to his lips…makes me cry thinking about it.

After that first week it was like something snapped…I was much happier and was able to easily make the mental transition from twins to one. I was able to talk about things without breaking down and could smile at her memory. Every once in a while the tears will come…like today as I'm typing…but for the most part I've been able to put the depression and sadness behind me. We are both very much looking forward to Jack's arrival and can't wait to hold our little boy! I had a checkup a few weeks ago and the doctor says everything looks good and I'm measuring right on schedule! He did an ultrasound and I was able to see Jackson gulping down amniotic fluid…it was so cool! I'm so glad he is doing well!! I love feeling his kicks and now they are not just kicks but I can see his body move from one side to the other. Sometimes he will kick off of one side and I'll feel his body hit the other side of my stomach. He also responds to noise now and gets really active in crowds or during movies! He is so cute, I just love him! <3

Well, after a 2 month house-hunting spree, at least 6 offers, constantly being outbid…we FINALLY got a house!!! We will be closing August 15 and our lease is up August 19…whew, that was close! I can't wait to have my own place, to have a yard for the puppies, and to be able to decorate Jackson's room!! I'm so excited!! It's a perfect starter home for us and is on the same street as the neighborhood pool and park!

We recently went on our last vacation before Jack arrives…we went to visit family and friends in Florida! We had a great time and my childhood best friend, Diana (who is also pregnant with a boy), was able to make it down as well. We were finally able to get pictures together pregnant…which was always a dream of ours! Her last and my first. She is exactly 8 weeks ahead of me!

While we were down we scheduled a 4-D ultrasound so that everybody could share this exciting time with us! Adam and I were so excited to see our little boy…I couldn't wait to see who he would look like. We were surprised to see that he had chubby cheeks already (I was 25 weeks at the time) and he was opening his eyes. The ultrasound tech said he weighs almost 2 pounds and has long legs! He is so adorable…I can't wait to hold him!!! We think he has Adam's nose and my lips! It was an amazing experience and I'm so glad we were able to share it with everybody!

Afterwards my step-mom, Luci, had a mini-baby shower for me! We ate lunch at a great restaurant on the water, ate delicious gelato at a little cafe, and had a pampering session at an awesome nail salon! It was so much fun and I absolutely love getting baby stuff so it just made my day!! I can't wait to set up Jackson's room so I can look at all his stuff everyday!

Well I think that about sums up the last 2 months! Lots going on in our lives right now…it's such an exciting time! I'll try to blog more often! :)